Paused objectivesThis last month has been really unproductive for me. But it's not just last month. In some sense it's life. In some sense, it's not anything new. I'm hoping maybe if I write a bit about it again, it'll give myself a little kick for this month to make progress on a few things. And over the next several months can come back here in disgust.
Mainly, here's just a list of things I've got ongoing that I've paused and want to continue and maybe actually finish some of them, with some excuses in parens. 1. Real-name website to use as a future hub for real-name business opportunities (consulting) written in CL (low effort, if I just swallowed and used PHP like this blog still is I probably would have finished in one burst, but I'm trying to do things 'proper' with logging and monitoring and...). 2. Continuing Japanese studies (brain started burning out near the end of trip and parrying new knowledge, since coming back at the end of January I've been lazy about continuing my studies that I need to continue, I made actual improvements in the last few months of 2022 that I don't want to lose). 3. Revisit and probably restart the game BGM course (I did the town theme in LMMS and started on a character theme, but stopped, and haven't gotten back to it, probably need to restart but at least I'll have all my sound packs and sound fonts still installed, they were fun to play with and learn how they work a bit). 4. Continue Blender studies (I actually finished the donut tutorial! But I need to continue with more projects to solidify the knowledge, and work on some larger ideas, and eventually do a workflow of getting something into a game engine like godot). 5. Finish a game (at this point it doesn't have to be in CL, but I've got several CL things ongoing in various states.... a solarwolf clone, a clone of my old college game (shooter), a flappy clone with the idea that it can be used to teach lisp, a pathfinding playground to add more features to my a* implementation.. and a ton of ideas that I haven't even started on yet, like a fangame, a touhou-inspired game, a 3d rail shooter inspired game... Maybe 1 and 5 can be combined into a desire to program more, generally speaking). 6. Read more (I haven't been reading enough, and what I have been reading has been fiction, and a lot of that has been 'reading' in the form of audiobooks). 7. Play more games (I haven't even been playing many games or watching shows. My days are very unproductive, even when it comes to entertaining myself). 8. Get back into drawing exercises (started Drawing on the Right Side of the Brain, paused at the chair drawing exercise). 9. Send out postcards (got the messages typed up at least now, just need to write them and send, should be done this week). 10. Pick up the guitar again (it has literally been years since strumming anything despite having 3 guitars). 11. Some neglected yardwork/indoor cleaning and repairs (I keep things relatively clean but there's a few spots that need a deeper pass with my wet vacuum, been too lazy to get it out and do all that, and my bathroom that wasn't in the best shape when we moved in needs some recaulking, and an electrical outlet needs to be replaced, and I'm probably forgetting something...some of this is technically the landlord's job, which is partly why I haven't gotten around to it). 12. Close out some browser tabs (I've really let them get out of hand this time.. so many are youtube videos too). 13. Do some serious meditation (part of a needed effort to 100% confront myself over some things I've been shying away from and staying at 80-90%, it should be like using the sword of shannara). 13. Move (even if it's more than I want to pay, I should just Do It, and maybe force myself back into working). 14. Make a robot (or stand-in for putting my CE degree towards something instead of just screwing off to pure software afterwards)
Some things I've successfully (more or less) been keeping up with or finished: 1. Lifting weights (brief pause after a back twinge but mostly back at it now). 2. Default-keto dieting (either maintaining or losing weight, not strict dieting and I got sick finally this last week so no keto at all for me, but most of the time it's easy to default to no/low carbs which is good for me when I'm not walking miles every day). 3. Made a dreamcatcher and a poem for someone I care a lot about (it involved drilling some holes in stones too, took more effort than I thought it would, but I was happy with the results, and got a thank you for it). 4. Keeping my teeth health in check (no cavities in years).
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Artist consent is a weird hill to die onI can't help but call it the ongoing seething by artists at the new AI image drawing techniques. I understand some of the emotion, it's the same emotion that made some artists hate photography when that came about, it's the same emotion that's part of certain online subcultures who get very protective over OCs ("-kin" types) and the like, and it's related to the more modern emotion of "tech bad" that caused similar seething at the whole ongoing NFT saga. (Note: I have no strong positive or negative feelings about NFTs, I don't own any, I don't intend to own or 'mint' any.)
But it's just emotional lashing out. Unfortunately the arguments tend to be terrible. They center around the same sort of things big IP outfits have used for years, often to bully the kinds of small artists who are themselves seething, with rhetoric around "theft" and "consent", monetary compensation and sometimes "licensing". They rarely look into how the AIs actually work, which does in fact resemble a learning process more so than a memorization and copying process, and the weird part about it is that they fail to take into consideration where we'll be in a year or two.
Prediction: stable diffusion-like AI artists released in a couple years will not need to have been trained on any non-public-domain data. And maybe not even much of that. We can draw a comparison with AlphaGo: it was trained on human games, and did well. The next versions were not trained on human games, solely on self-play, and this version was far superior. Is there a way to train stable diffusion on self-drawings, and at the end still be able to draw interesting things for humans? What I expect is that a fully trained model can be given one-shot examples, and a description, and without changing anything in the model (i.e. learning the examples), output something that pleases the human. Much like I can go to an amusement park and find an artist who has never seen me before but because of their training can draw a pleasing portrait of me.
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Time to start commentating old posts?Of course I did it to a really old post I hate to read again (past me could really become angry and judgmental huh), so now I feel like I need to start annotating everything up to say 2014 at least with a sentence or two preamble on whether I still agree overall with the post or not.. it's sort of a prelude to marking everything (including this) as obsolete and putting them on ice and out of the sitemap, and moving forward into a more 'curated' and sectioned style blog (maybe some select things recovered from old posts that weren't terrible) instead of its current timeline form.
Also, I approach my old goal: write a million words then throw them in the trash, you are now ready to write. When you add in enough fudge factors anyway.. so far my script tells me I've written 435,943 words on this blog. When you include some writing sources from elsewhere, then as of two years ago it jumps up to 940k. I don't think I've written 60k words in the last two years but probably getting close. Anyway, when the goal is reached, I can then proceed with the big change. (Rebrand almost?)
It could be a fun exercise revisiting some thoughts of old me I haven't revisited or thought about in a long time. Especially that 2009-2010 era, when I was overly arrogant... (Edit: Nah, it's not time. I'm just too lazy..)
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PlaceholderPutting a placeholder post here for now... Kinda want to write about something (mostly to clarify my own thoughts a bit more) but it's sort of the thing that better belongs in my journal instead of on this blog. If I change my mind, I'll edit this post, and by virtue of not being the newest (ideally) it will probably only get attention from those who seek rather than by accident.
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