Wrapping up a trip soon. I'm ready to head back home and resume something more resembling the hikikimori lifestyle.
It was a good trip, I'll write up a bit more about it later. Part of me wants to stay, but it's time.
It's hard for me to accept the idea that people here actually care that I'm leaving. There's a cynical part of me that thinks they only care to the extent of how much I'm spending. But especially certain some of them where there's no real relationship besides pleasantries, I just don't get it. Why should they care? I haven't done anything. I'm just here.
I think some part of me is bothered that I am being observed. (Perceived may be a better word, but that carries connotations of perceiving my inner mind, which I think remains for the most part unmolested though it's all scattered throughout this site for anyone mysteriously curious enough.) I'd rather be the observer. I don't want to stand out, but ironically I can't help it in some contexts due to immutable traits.
Posted on 2024-01-14 by Jach