Jach's personal blog

(Largely containing a mind-dump to myselves: past, present, and future)
Current favorite quote: "Supposedly smart people are weirdly ignorant of Bayes' Rule." William B Vogt, 2010

Evaluating ChatGPT's speculations on the types of girls I'd be in to

I've been having a bit of fun with ChatGPT this month. This morning's fun seemed worth writing a blurb about.

ChatGPT seems to know a little about me from its vast training data. After some prompting I was able to get it to generate some "types" for girls whom I might be into. (I think a use case for really good AI will be to play match-maker far better than past attempts or even ourselves can be, especially if it can be prodded into evading the privacy implications to get two people together who would never have found each other otherwise.)

Interestingly it did not use the word for what is I think the most characteristic of a singular type, which is "kind". (By my own introspection, I do have a "type", but it's hard for me to articulate, there are multiple characteristics to it, and so far only two women have appeared in my life that match it and I'd prefer to be lazy and just point to them and say "some of their overlapping commonalities could be considered my 'type'"...) Anyway, here are the AI's types, and my thoughts afterwards.

  1. Tech-savvy: A girl who shares Jach's passion for technology and programming, allowing them to engage in meaningful conversations and collaborate on projects.
  2. Intellectual: Someone who enjoys intellectual discussions and can challenge Jach's thoughts and ideas, potentially leading to stimulating debates and personal growth.
  3. Creative: A girl with artistic or creative inclinations, who can provide Jach with a fresh perspective on things and inspire him in his own pursuits.
  4. Ambitious: A goal-oriented and driven individual who is focused on personal and professional development, potentially motivating Jach to continue striving for success.
  5. Adventurous: A girl who enjoys exploring new experiences and is open to trying out new things, encouraging Jach to step out of his comfort zone and broaden his horizons.
  6. Independent: A girl who values her independence and can maintain a strong sense of self, even while in a relationship, which could be appealing to Jach as someone who appreciates personal autonomy.
  7. Compassionate: Someone who is empathetic and understanding, able to provide emotional support and care when needed, which could offer balance and grounding in a relationship with Jach.
  8. Curious: A girl who is naturally curious and enjoys learning new things, encouraging Jach to continue expanding his own knowledge and interests.
  9. Humorous: Someone who has a good sense of humor and can engage Jach with wit and laughter, adding an element of fun and lightheartedness to their interactions.
  10. Open-minded: A girl who is receptive to new ideas and diverse perspectives, which could foster an atmosphere of mutual respect and growth in a relationship with Jach.

When I was younger I used to say I wanted a programmer-baker-wife. The programmer was a hint at the first two, tech-savvy and smart in a particular way, and the baker part just me missing someone cooking for me. Of course it's a silly filter, so I dropped it eventually. Nowadays, I don't particularly care if she's into technology or not, or into 'intellectual' things or not. (I do still desire not-dumb-as-bricks, I'm not after bimbos like some guys, but I'm also not after PhD holders or math champions or hardcore programmers specifically. If she's super smart, cool, if not, cool.) I also cook well enough myself, it'd be nice if she can cook too (and we can even try making stuff together?) but not anything I'd call a requirement.

I have thought it would be nice to make a video game together with a girlfriend / wife. So it does hit that idea about collaborating on projects. Not a requirement but would be nice -- and I imagine the most likely scenario would be that she'd do a lot of the creative game design and artistic bits while I can do a lot of the code monkey stuff, and that ties into the third point.

I do like that creative and intuitive aspect some women have. I used to be friends or acquaintances with a lot more artist girls... I'm delighted when I can talk to someone and they come at something from a very different angle; even if I end up disagreeing I still like the different approach. Or when their interests are far from my own but they are still passionate about them, I like to hear about such things from them.

Ambition isn't a particular desire of mine, either in myself or a potential girlfriend, but if it was there in her I would do what I could to support the goal in question. For me, I've already accomplished most of my ambitions, so I'm just drifting.

Similarly with being adventurous, it could be nice but also not so nice. Staying home is best. But I do like to get out sometimes, and putting on my philosopher hat "trying anything once" just about. I think my criteria here is not pro/anti, but just an openness to it, and not relying on it. Some relationships were strained to breaking during the pandemic years, my ideal partner would have been like me being mostly fine cooped up inside all the time. (We might miss some things, especially if a job involved going out in public, but we'd be ok, and besides the internet allows for many adventures unattainable by anyone in human history prior to 30 years ago or so.)

Independent, yes, like I'd still need my own alone time and can't decide everything all the time. I'm not after a girl to cling to me, I want her to be her own person as much as I am my own. Clinginess from time to time can be nice, but not all the time please...

Compassionate is closest to "kind", but I don't think that's what I'm after. I don't want or expect emotional support and care, I just want kindness, towards me and the world. More kind than myself I hope, which isn't necessarily too hard, but it's just very unattractive to me when girls are catty about other people, only ever seem to have negative or criticizing attitudes about things, or are constantly demeaning to others or who go too far in messing with someone, often for no reason other than being a jerk. (Like I know of someone who, when her glass of water at a restaurant was empty, would start inching it closer and closer to the edge and I've been told she even knocked it off before. Like just call the server over if you're thirsty, you don't need to be so passive aggressive and then cause a bigger problem.)

This isn't to say I want a doormat. Some people do very unkind things and it's not unkind to call them out on it, or stand up to them.

Curiosity is nice, falls into similar areas as creative though, and honestly not a big deal if she's not that curious about things. I don't mind if she doesn't read much either. We're adults and have our interests already, we don't need to constantly be seeking out something novel or trying to force each other into the same shared set of interests, and when new ones come for either of us then they'll come, shared or not.

Humor is good. I especially like a bit of mischievousness as well, but this interplay/mix with kindness is particularly difficult to hit right with me (again, two...). Being Honest (another trait I value that ChatGPT didn't mention in its types) allows one to discuss whether something has crossed the line a bit much too. Like I enjoy my dark humor, but some things hidden by the label are ultimately just mean. Like you can make some jokes about someone's dead pet fish, and in the same manner you can make jokes about their dead cat or their dead parent. Anything's on the table and fair game as far as I'm concerned. But in most contexts such jokes probably aren't actually funny, nor particularly "dark", they're just rude. Better not to make them. But it's sometimes a fine line. Like, a silly prank where you put wasabi in someone's sandwich seems fine in most contexts and not particularly unkind, but you're going too far if you piss in their cola... but in fiction, it's fine to laugh at such an absurd and disgusting act of abuse. Having a good separation of real and fiction is probably nice, not sure I'd go to calling it a requirement though.

Open-minded is nice in theory, though I don't want someone so open-minded their brain falls out, or who just gullibly believes whatever. I would rather say I prefer being able to step back and look at things somewhat dispassionately or analytically. But even that's not a requirement.

Overall, I give ChatGPT some credit for hitting a few things I would like in a girl. Even though it is "speculating" it didn't suggest something that's totally off-base, like a desire for particular body types or ethnicities or teeth condition, or a desire for a particular beauty level or income/wealth level or family breeding or making sure she's dumber/smarter than me. Its failure is mainly in missing things I consider more important than anything it did list, and that what it did list, some of it would be a nice bonus, but some would be more troublesome than nice, and not much of it would be anything close to a requirement. For the rare girl whom I'm into now, I'd partially describe her as ultra kind, smart, hard-working, funny, cool, artistic, energetic, fun to be around and chat with about whatever, cheerful, a little mischievous, has a good attitude towards various things, good taste in things (literal and metaphorical), is multi-talented, beautiful (in many ways -- inside, outside, her voice, her eyes), quite independent/does things her own way, a hard to describe mix of socializing/attention-gathering introvert, honest and straightforward, and likes video games a lot (though our favorites aren't the same, that's more than fine). There are other things I could add that she is or is not, likes or doesn't like, believes in or not, desires out of life or not, that I find attractive or agreeable, and what I said doesn't imply any particular thing is a hard requirement, but it's at least an indication of my peculiar tastes these days... (Of course, who doesn't like people who are "fun to be around"? I'm being a bit vague too.) Fnqyl, V unir ab rkcrpgngvbaf be ernyvfgvp ubcrf gung guvf bar jvyy pbzr gb nal fbeg bs sehvgvba rvgure. V pna bayl qernz, rvgure gung zvenpyrf ner erny, be gung orlbaq cbffvovyvgl gurer'f n guveq bar bhg gurer V pna svaq naq znxr fbzrguvat unccra jvgu.

Posted on 2023-03-29 by Jach

Tags: personal


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